My family is one of those families that I'd call dysfunctional. Of course i don't mean dysfunctional in the true sense of the word, i mean dysfunctional stripped of all the negative connotations attached to it. My family is a family of different crazy people, my mother is one of them. Can you imagine speaking to someone over the phone and discussing something very important with them and the next thing they do is start singing and when you try to draw their attention back the obviously very important topic at hand, they ignore you and you know in your heart that that was the end of that conversation. Or I'm i to talk about my brother who is so self-absorbed, he forgets he isn't the only person in the world. And i haven't even started talking about myself! I am one of the most complex humans being there is and yet so simple and that's why i am in my mothers church, surrounded by people screaming on the top of their lungs, ready to bang their heads on the wall in the name of prayer and I'm standing thinking to myself, is this how we are required to pray? In my understanding, praying is a way of talking to God, its the way you talk to a a friend, a mother or a brother. I really do not see the need to be physically violent or aggressive when speaking to someone you love. But then again what do i know. People show love in different ways i know so who's to say it is right or wrong. If there's anything I've learned after 21 years on the planet, it is that nothing is neither black nor white, there are shades of grey. Everyone serves God in many ways, ways that they are comfortable with, if screaming and inflicting pain on yourself is your thing then i suppose God knows, if praying in your heart is your thing God sees and God knows.
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