In the world of incest

In case you haven’t read the story, this is the infamous father and daughter duo (John and Jenny Deaves), involved in an incestuous relationship. They now have an 8 month old baby after losing the first one to heart disease and here is an expert from the story “Reunited in 2000, almost 30 years after John Deaves separated from Jenny's mother. Jennifer, because of problems with her own marriage had gone to live with her father at Yongala, in South Australia (because she had no other place to go after her divorce not to be “effed” by her father!!). Their physical relationship developed later that year and both ended their marriages and began living together.” (I’m just trying to imagine what Jenny would have told her husband when she ended it with him “I have fallen out of love with you, I’m head over heels in lust with my father???)

Incestuous relationships are illegal in Australia and around the world (not sure if it is in Amsterdam, haaahhahaa), not just because of the “need to prevent the high risk of congenital defects in children and to prevent children suffering psychological harm and social stigmatization”-what about…I know…morality? You don’t have to be religious or mentally stable to know having sex or “checking” out a family member is inappropriate (on a side note if you see yourself thinking along those lines you seriously need to “urgently” see a doctor).

Today’s piece is about incest survivors, women that have lived to tell the tale, not the ones that are waiting for their father’s demise before they come out to the Australian public and explain how her father came into her room in the middle of a night and French kissed her and then...(U get the point)

This is a highly controversial subject. It is undoubtedly one of the most appalling, disgusting and disturbing lows of humanity, moments like these makes me wonder why the human race hasn’t self destructed (yet).On a slightly more positive note, majority of you believe it is appalling so, its not controversial in that sense. I remember when I first read the story of Josef Fritzl, how he held his daughter Elisabeth prisoner for nearly 24 years and sired 7 children...I almost threw up. Back then I was in college and I brought up this topic in one of my lectures because it was and still is a topic that confuses the shit out of me (excuse my choice of word, but there is no word in the dictionary that can convey my frustration and bitterness). "Did he look at his daughter every day and marvel at how beautiful her ass looked "I asked”? The whole class cracked up and crumbled in laughter, but to me, that was a very serious question. I genuinely wanted to understand. But of course I was asking the wrong people.

It is worth noting that I cried yesterday while watching Oprah. I have a love/hate relationship with Oprah (this will be a topic of discussion for another day), but you know, I was supposed to get ready for work, instead, I sat, glued to my sit crying for people, women...men that have had every moment of their lives evolving over a particular incident, day or night, an incident they live each day fretting over, worried that somebody else will know their secret, somebody else will judge them, look down on them, be disappointed in them, tell somebody else, manipulate them with the knowledge they have. This has nothing to do with just men; perpetrators are both male and female. I sit on the fence here, I have never been raped (thank goodness), having said that, I have great knowledge and shall we call it experience (no...we shall stick with knowledge) on this matter for reasons I can’t disclose (for now), so this is a subject I get, I dig, its a subject I understand.

So, can incest be consensual? Do you enjoy sex with a person who is supposed to be a family member? A parent, a brother, a sister??? Incest cannot be consensual I learnt today, yes both parties may have been involved, however, it’s usually at a time the abused is younger and obviously cannot make those decisions for themselves or when they are vulnerable, for instance, they need love and affection since there is no one who has shown or will show the affection they are getting from the abuser. Secondly, there is attention (girl’s bask in attention, although attention comes in different forms, there’s flirty attention-which isn’t the one I’m talking about, I’m talking about people caring about what you say, listening to you, making your opinion count attention). Do you enjoy sex with a person who is supposed to be a family member? Apparently, sex with a family member is the same, hahahahahhaha, I was meant to say ewwwww!!!(you’d think you’ll be hearing alarm bells or a voice telling you it’s wrong (you actually do, but this time, it’s an internal voice not an external one, it’s your voice of reason, your conscience)

Sometimes I think we are so messed up. While most parents (single parents in most cases) are out trying to provide for their families, they often leave their children in the care of people they think will look after them; have their best interests at heart. Some of these people come to abuse their state of power and take advantage of situations they have been entrusted. An example will be the case of an American woman who had had sex with a 14y/o teenager at the time; she escaped jail people (my sources say) because she’s very beautiful. Pardon me for asking but what happens to women like us, who’s beauty “is in the eye of the beholder” hahahhahahahhaha...just joking. She had sex with this kid in her classroom and at her home and wanna know her defense? Well I quote “he wanted it, so I gave It to him” (what???). That must’ve been a very good defense because she did not go to jail; she got away with a four months house arrest!!!! (I know).

I would assume the above was consensual, it is not incest, but was merely an example on how the law falls in deep sleep in situations they need to stand up and take charge, she broke her parole by talking about sex with a 17 year old boy that had come to her house, however, she got away with it, not because she was a celebrity but because she was too beautiful to be in jail (beautiful my ass!!!). Which begs the question, what the hell was a 17 y/o boy doing in her house in the first place? He may have been raped this time around for all I care. Last night, the Minister of Family and Community services was under fire for the number of children put in the care of repeat offenders, a child was also put in the care of a pedophile after a name error (I truly do not want to know what happened during the time he had custody over her).

I guess the moral of everything I’ve said here today is...if we did more looking out, not just for family, but for the people living around us, if we smiled more to our next door neighbor, if we cared, showed we cared, people (sorry I meant animals) like Josef Fritzl will not kidnap and lock up his daughter in the basement of his home for 24 years!!!! We need to work together as a society on this one, we need to help the Government, and we need to help the police help us live in a society...a peaceful society I dare say. A society we wouldn’t see a father hugging his daughter and automatically think he’s having intercourse with her, a society where the emotion and heart-ache we all are channeling on incest is left and adopted by global issues such as poverty, global warming or any cause at all that makes your heart race and step quicken. And just as Howard Thurman said “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”